I Can't Do It Alone
by Zackary Anderson J
Summary: Born a heroine baby, Ichigo grows up with his childhood friend as he struggles with learning out how to do every day things, including figure out what his relationship is with his best friend Byakuya. AU ByaIchi mentions of StarkIchi. I suck at summaries.
1. I Cant Do It Alone

CHAPTER 1NE: I CAN'T DO IT ALONE

**Disclaimer:: I do not own Bleach or any recognizable characters, artistic inventions, etcetera. Tite Kubo drew and wrote it, Viz Media published and licensed it. I am merely a boy with plot bunnies in his mind; all I own is a double sided poster, a lost trading card (Renji), a collector's booklet, Memories of Nobody, DiamondDust Rebellion, Fade to Black I Call Your Name, Heat The Soul 6 (for PSP in Japanese, not yet available in English), and volumes 1—37. I Cant Do It Alone belongs to 3OH!3. Not me.**

**(::.I'm pretty happy with this chapter considering it's the first I actually sat down and put something into. The story gets darker as it goes on, but it gets better after the worst happens. There are going to be two or three major time skips, not including flashbacks, but the time skipped will probably be unimportant, mentioned later on, or come in later on during a flashback This is unbeta'd so any faults are yours truly..::)**

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Oh God, God, she's really done it now,  
>Coked up, her body's all spun around,<br>Oh yeah, yeah, she's really done it,  
>And seein' her just isn't something I can stomach,<br>~Refrain~  
>This ain't a love song (oh no),<br>This ain't a broken heart homie singin' only 'cause he's lonely,  
>This ain't a love song (oh, no, no, no),<br>This ain't a whiskey-drowned ballad,  
>There ain't nothing here that's valid,<br>So tell me baby, pretty baby, that this house is not a graveyard,  
>Tell me how to stay strong and carry you home,<br>Over corpses of our long-lost fathers and her unborn daughters,  
>Cuz God damnit, I can't do it alone.<p>

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The sound of cries, exhausted panting, and the scent of blood and sweat filled the room. The origin of the smells and sounds came from a woman on a bloody bed and the little bundle in her arms. It was her first child, and she was on the brink of panicking. A half an hour ago she had called her husband the second her water broke, why wasn't he there? She'd known enough to wipe the baby clean, as much as she could anyway, and cut the umbilical cord, but that was it. She was at a complete loss as to what else she was supposed to do with the kid. Feeling herself close to hyperventilation, she took several long and deep breaths to attempt to calm down. The wavy haired brunette woman lay back on her bed and looked at the sobbing child that lay twitching, convulsing in her arms. Was that normal? It was her first born child, a beautiful son with unnaturally colored hair. He was so small, perhaps smaller then usual but what was she to know? For all she knew they could've easily come out his size! Then again, even through her dope laced mind she knew that the baby wanted something. He probably wanted food most likely. From what her heavily influenced mind remembered, babies seemed to enjoy food quite a lot.

Masaki Kurosaki couldn't exactly relate. She had stopped eating a while back. Instead of wasting her money on something as trivial as food it was all blown to her addiction. And unbeknownst to her, her baby, whom she had thought was healthy, was born not a result of her and her husbands love. No, but of her and her addictions lust. It called to her and told her to drop everything and spend everything on the substance. She'd somehow managed to convince her husband of her sobriety and he'd believed every word of it that she let loose.

With panic setting in at the loud cries of the newborn, Masaki prepped up a needle. Shooting up always helped her clear her mind, and right now her precious baby was making it race. She nearly dropped the needle in shock when the idea hit her.

"If it calms me down then it should calm him down… _Duh_! Smaller dose though, not too big, maybe... And- and I don't really need food either since I'm on it! It's the perfect substitute..!"

After convincing herself that doing this was the right thing to do and mumbling about dosage sizes for her offspring, Masaki decided that a smaller dose would be the best choice. His body was smaller; therefore it didn't need as much time to kick in. But even though that seemed to be the main train of thought, the lessened hit was due to her selfishness over the drug.

And as she slid the needle out of her baby's tiny little vein, she sighed in relief as he finally stopped crying so loudly. His convulsions were significantly worse for the briefest of seconds, but after that he stopped moving altogether. The new mother slid the 3/4ths full syringe into her own vein and lay down next to where she placed her relaxed baby. Her eyes drifted shut just as her husband opened the door,

"Masaki, my dearrrr! I'm HOO- Masaki? MASAKI? Oh god, Ichigo! No, no, _no_!"

Several minutes later, after a short and frantic call to 911, police and ambulance sirens and lights were heard and seen as the father sobbed, hugging his baby boy tight to his chest and lightly slapping his cheek,

"Wake up, wake up, wake up son, wake up..."

The mantra-like chant continued as the ambulance took his child away from him, his wife following on a gurney. Isshin was being led to a police car where they would follow the ambulance to the hospital; that very same hospital where Isshin was going to take Masaki to after her call that it was time for the baby to come. Now, instead of delivering his son, they would be trying to save the life of their new born baby. Ichigo Kurosaki; born to Masaki and Isshin Kurosaki on July 15th at 9:52 PM. He was born with orange hair and brown eyes. He weighed 4 pounds, 3 ounces, and was addicted to heroin.


	2. My Heroine

CHAPTER 2WO: MY HEROINE

**Disclaimer in first chapter. My Heroine belongs to Silverstein. Not me.**

**(::. Short chapter I know, really short actually. And I'm very sorry for it. There is a small time skip in this chapter, just a few days after where everything left off, nothing big really. This chapter is Isshin centered!.::)**

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Your face arrives again, all hope I had becomes surreal.  
>But under your covers more torture than pleasure<br>And just past your lips there's more anger than laughter  
>Not now or forever will I ever change you<br>I know that to go on, I'll break you, my habit!

You taught my heart, a sense I never knew I had.  
>I can forget, the times that I was<br>Lost and depressed from the awful truth  
>How do you do it?<br>You're my heroine!

I will save myself!

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Isshin was stuck between a rock and a hard place. Well, that would've been an accurate statement if that rock weren't a mountain, and that hard place hadn't been a wall made out of diamonds.

He had a choice to make that was crucial to his life, his business, his wife, and his top priority as of two nights ago. His son. Isshin had to choose between leaving his wife or staying with her. He didn't know if he could deal with raising the boy on his own, especially with his work hours. He didn't know a thing about how to take care of a baby! His wife had no where to go, would probably OD, and wouldn't know how to survive due to his incessant habit of giving her whatever she wanted. He spoiled her rotten. People would undoubtedly cease coming to the clinic if word got around that she was a... user. He'd have no way to pay the bills and then they'd all be out on the streets, or living with Kisuke. Most of all, he wasn't sure if he could handle or even _trust_ the woman with his son.

_Their son_... Isshin had to remind himself. At the moment though it didn't even feel like it was her child as much as it was his son. He had been thinking on the subject since he had arrived at the hospital. Now that his wife was stable he needed to finally bring an answer to the surface of the body of water he'd slowly been sinking in.

Unable to make a decision by himself he stepped out of the waiting room and sat down on a bench outside. He bummed a cigarette off of a near by doctor, also on a smoke break, and as he stared off into the distance he wondered what went wrong. With his cigarette nearly 3/4th burnt out, he dug into his pocket and withdrew his cell phone and scrolled through his contacts until coming to the name of his recently deceased best friends father. Ginrei Kuchiki. Pressing SEND, he let out what seemed to be the millionth smoke encased sigh he'd let out that night. It was going to be a long night.

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><p>Isshin got off the phone with his deceased best friends father, Ginrei Kuchiki an hour later. It had been a long conversation; he'd ended up bumming three more cigarettes from random doctors and having to wipe his face and wipe his nose on his sleeve countless times. His previous prediction was already proving to be correct, it was a long day indeed.<p>

Masaki had woken up shortly after arriving at the hospital miraculously. Isshin was on his way to have a word with her. He finally reached her room and went in to let her know about his decision. Before he could even speak, she cut him off, crying hysterically,

"I didn't mean to Isshin, I swear! I'll get clean; I'll never touch it again! Please, I'll be the best wife, an even better mother, I promise, just please don't throw me out! I love you, Isshin, I love you so much!"

Isshin sighed, sending a quick call to Genrei telling him he needed his advice. Masaki was still crying and pleading her case to her torn husband when Ginrei arrived in the room.

"Masaki," the old man cleared his throat calmly. "If you don't calm down they're going to ask us to leave."

Masaki hiccupped and sucked in her lips.

"Are you quite done now, dear?" Letting out little whimpers, she nodded to the best of her abilities. "Good. Now then, while you are away at rehab, Ichigo will be staying at my place; I know little Byakuya will just love him."

"Rehab? I don't-" Isshin looked away from his wife as Ginrei sent her a stern look. She was going to rehab whether she liked it or not.

"Yes Masaki, rehab. This isn't a negotiation. You will go and get better so you can see your son in a year or two, or you will go to jail and see your son as he's hitting puberty... if you didn't already kill him that is..."


	3. I Feel So

CHAPTER 3HREE: I FEEL SO

**Disclaimer in first chapter. I Feel So belongs to Box Car Racer. Not me.**

**(::. .Okay, time skip in this chapter (two of them actually) So the last time skip (as far as I have planned out anyway) will pop up in the next few chapters. .::)**

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Lets start over

Lets start over

Sometimes

I wish I was smart

I wish I made cures for

How people are

I wish I had power

I wish I could lead

I wish I could change the world

For you and me  
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A week and a half later, by 6:30 in the morning Masaki was out of the hospital, all packed up and ready to go to rehab. Ichigo was okay, the dotoxation had been their greatest concern; not knowing if his frail body would handle the withdrawals. It did though, and though he'd had several intense muscle spasms he was deemed completely alright to go home with the Kuchiki's. She stayed long enough to load the car with things for Ichigo, get him from the hospital, and see his meeting with Byakuya. Byakuya Kuchiki was a two year old with milky white skin that seemed paler then it was against his dark hair and eyes. He was incredibly shy, greeting Isshin and her with small smiles and peeking around his grandfather at Ichigo.

Masaki had been too scared to touch him since the incident, so before her departure she asked Byakuya to come over. She kissed his cheek and asked him to give that to her baby for her. He blushes but happily did it, not questioning the teary eyed woman and gave the squirming baby in his grandfather's arms a big sloppy wet kiss on the cheek, to which Ichigo laughed at. It was one of those screaming loud laughs. Byakuya grinned widely and said proudly,

"That was from your momma! She's that one, right there!" pointing her out as she smiled with a tear rolling down her cheek. Ginrei put Ichigo in his car seat and set it on the grass to he could properly say his goodbyes to Masaki and Isshin while Byakuya spoke enthusiastically to Ichigo. As Masaki sniffled out a sob and waved goodbye to Byakuya, he told Ichigo,

"Goodbye ma'am! Say bye-bye Ichi-berry!" Masaki cried and got into the car. Isshin kissed Ginrei on the cheek goodbye and said he would be over for dinner at eight before driving off to the Rehabilitation Center four and a half hours away. After watching them off Ginrei, asked if Byakuya wanted to help him set up the guest bedroom for Ichigo. He declined and cried out,

"No! Ichi-berry wants to sleep with _me_!" to which his grandfather chuckled and didn't even bother arguing.

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><p>After four long years, Masaki was out of rehab and clean at last. She had just given birth to Yuzu and Karin two days ago, and was marveling in happiness that they were completely healthy. After returning from rehab she and an almost four year old Ichigo (his birthday was in two months) had become extremely close; her and six year old Byakuya being the center of his world. The two boys spent every other day with each other, Byakuya being mean to Ichigo at times but apologizing for him immediately after realizing he'd upset him.<p>

Ichigo occasionally had fits, somewhat like mini-seizures. He would get a distant look in his eyes, faint or collapse, break out in a cold sweat, and shake convulsively. Byakuya, being very protective of him, held him when these attacks happen and refused to let anyone near Ichigo, even his parents who still worry. They were small bits of shock that occasionally ran through his body due to the missing drug that he was born with and had running through him when he was still in Masaki. They were harmless so much as he didn't injure himself when he fell down down. Byakuya called referred to them as "daymares."

Ichigo only allowed Byakuya to call him Ichi-berry, and Byakuya allows him to call him Bya-ya-chan but glared playfully and blushed a bit whenever he was called it. Ichigo blushed and grinned widely when Byakuya called him Ichi-berry. The adults would gets scolded for calling them by their nicknames. Ichigo's parents' and Genrei would joke that they would get married one day during dinner that night. Ichigo announced that he wanted to be the girl and look pretty like his momma when they did and the two boys couldn't look happier, Masaki cooing softly at them while Isshin sighed and Ginrei snickered.

Byakuya slept over, and the next morning Masaki said that she was going to spend a week with Ichigo alone in the house while Isshin showed the twins to his parents. Masaki was staying home to recuperate from birthing the twins and would have liked Ichigo to keep her company. He happily agreed and went into his room with Byakuya to tell him the news. They played for a few hours before Masaki and Ichigo drove Byakuya home. She watched as they held hands with goofy grins on their faces as Ichigo walked Byakuya the five feet to his door. As Ginrei opened the door for his grandson, the six year old swooped down and kissed the significantly shorter boy on the cheek before running inside and yelling bye. Ichigo yelled bye to Ginrei and the already gone Byakuya. He ran to the car and yelled "Mommy he loves me!" when she lifted him to put him in his booster seat. She played along and said,

"Oh my how romantic! We'll have to plan a wedding soon! There'll be roses everywhere!" They were talking about the wedding and Ichigo insisted that unless they had Cherry Blossoms, Byakuya's favorite, he would "find a new weddinger to make his wedding!"

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><p>AN: For the record as far as my medical knowlegde goes, what I described as "Daymares" do not exist. If they do then I was unaware of it when I though I made it up!


	4. Girl With Golden Eyes

CHAPTER 4OUR: GIRL WITH GOLDEN EYES

**Disclaimer in first chapter. Girl With Golden Eyes belongs to Sixx AM. Not me.**

**(::. .Chapter takes place for the span of four days. .::)**

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Day one. Dope free. I went to the clinic today and got the first dose of methadone.  
>I'm out of dope so I threw away all my rigs.<br>Day two. I can't believe it's been two days without junk.  
>Fucking smack, it just ruins peoples' lives.<br>At first it seems so sweet, then you wake up next to a monster.  
>Day three. I haven't had anything for three days now.<br>This withdrawal is killing me. It's like shock therapy to my guts.  
>Day four. Last visit to the clinic. My whole body feels like it's cracking into pieces.<br>Fragile doesn't even come close to describing how I feel.  
>Day five. I'm sick as a dog, but this handful of painkillers<br>and a lotta whiskey's gonna get me through.  
>Day six. When I'm left to my own devices I go fucking insane.<br>I'll never use heroin again.  
>Day seven. I can't believe I'm clean!<br>Day eight. Everyone says I look better-  
>Day nine. The parasites are panicking-<br>Day ten. They seem amazed that I'm alive!

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DAY ONE. The following day Isshin and the twins set off to their grandparents' house. As Isshin waved and pulled out of the drive way, Masaki realized that she was nervous had been picking at an old injection mark on her arm. She hadn't been left alone with Ichigo for more then several hours at a time and she was worried that she was going to do something to screw things up. She decided to play it safe and take Ichigo to the park. Ichigo and Masaki played around on the playground for an hour or two before they went out for lunch at a diner and then ice cream. They ate on the walk home. When they got home it was time for Ichigo's nap. As soon as he was asleep, Masaki immediately felt extremely relieved. She took a nap of her own and, when he woke her up, she made them soup for dinner that they ate as they watched a movie about a toaster and it's home appliance friends trying to find their way home.

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><p>DAY TWO.<p>

The morning after, Masaki was still terrified. She called up Ginrei, but he had wanted her to have mother-son time and had sent Byakuya off to stay at his mother's house for the week. She hung up the phone, cursing the old man out in her head, and asked Ichigo what he wants to do. Ichigo hugged her legs and said

"Can we read, mommy?" looking up and smiling at her. She smiled and agreed. That couldn't be too hard. They curl up in a blanket on the couch and read for half the day before he eventually fell asleep next to her. She took him to bed and tucked him in before making cheese burgers. She puts them in the fridge when they were done so she could throw them in the microwave when Ichigo decided to wake up.

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><p>DAY THREE.<p>

The next day Masaki decided to go visit Uncle Kisuke Urahara, his girlfriend of forever Yoruichi Shihoin, and their two adopted children, Renji Abarai and Tatsuki Arisawa. She let Kisuke know that being alone with him was scary, which he comforted her, or tried to anyway, by saying that being a _parent_ was scary. They stayed for dinner (Ichigo had his nap with the Renji and Tatsuki.) The ride home was silent before Ichigo took it among himself to fill,

"Momma?"

"Yes dear?" Masaki sighed.

"Why'd we go to Uncle Kisuke's?" Masaki pursed her lips, knowing that she told him that she wanted to spend time with him since she had four years to make up for.

"What do you mean, sweetie? Did you not want to see your uncle and cousins?"

"I just thought it was gonna be just you and me..." Not knowing how to respond to that, Masaki decided to just change the subject completely.

"...Want Mac and Cheese tomorrow?" Ichigo pouted at not receiving an answer, but hummed and gave a dejected "okay…"

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><p>DAY FOUR.<p>

After having Mac and Cheese for breakfast Masaki took Ichigo to do some grocery shopping, purposely taking as much time as possible and comparing prices. By now her veins were itching with nerves, irritation, and annoyance. All she wanted is some peace and quiet. That isn't what she was getting, however, with her son crawling all over her and telling her some story she had already heard before about some game the Kuchiki brat played with him. Shocked at the harshness of her own thoughts, she decided it was time to pay for her groceries and head on home. The car ride was filled with Ichigo chatting away as Masaki clenched the steering wheel with nervous, shaking fists.

When home, she put the groceries away, again taking as much time as possible to do so, and popped a movie in for Ichigo. She gave him a bowl of cereal for dinner. Masaki went to her room claiming,

"I'm not feeling to well sweetheart. Can you leave momma alone for a bit so I can take a nap and some medicine? I'll put you to bed later when I wake up, okay?" Ichigo sadly and reluctantly nodded his head. When Masaki never showed up Ichigo ended up falling asleep on the couch.


	5. Better To Leave

CHAPTER 5IVE: BETTER TO LEAVE

**Disclaimer in first chapter. Better To Leave belongs to Just Surrender. Not me.**

**(::. .Masaki deals with being alone with Ichigo for the very first time after coming back from rehab. So, like any mother in her situation, what does she do? Panic and quit. I'm kind of happy with this chapter and how it turned out. I guess. .::)**

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She's so afraid of what she's become,  
>She's begging just to feel something for anyone,<br>Nothing can save her,  
>She's made up her mind,<br>Is all but dead and gone,  
>Now she is on her own,<br>Get out while you still have some heart left,  
>You can't save someone with no hope,<p>

Can you see it dripping down from her lips?  
>Taste it on her fingertips?<br>Can you see the pain that she hides deep inside?  
>In her eyes,<br>This all just what it seems,  
>Could be just another dream,<br>Could be that the end doesn't always just justify the means,  
>Sometimes it's better to just leave.<p>

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Masaki had reached her limit. Period. End of the line. No questions asked. She couldn't take _It_ anymore. _It_ being the kid. _Her_ kid. _It_ doesn't want to go to the park; _It_ doesn't want to watch a movie; _It_ doesn't want to play a game, no. _It_ wants to fucking _read_. Unable to handle her son any longer Masaki told him to either watch a movie or go to his room. Reluctantly he did so with tears in his eyes. Five minutes after the movie ended, it was lunch time, and Ichigo was hungry.

"...Mommy?" Ichigo asks, terrified of angering her more. He prayed she was happier now, but unfortunately for him she wasn't.

"What." She sounds mad and irritated, and in all honesty she wanted to hit him—no she wanted to_ beat_ him. Ichigo whimpered and hesitated before mumbling an answer.

"Speak up damnit! What the fuck do you want from me?" Ichigo sobbed out an "I'm hungry" and backed away from his mother. She sighed and cursed as she got up from the chair she was sitting in. She put a chair in front of the stove, stood on it to grab a pan off the shelf above it and put it onto the stove, turning it on. She got bread and put that and a pack of cheese on the counter next to said stove, still not moving the chair. Going to get a spatula from the grill outside, Masaki didn't see her son climb up on the chair before the stove. The handle was facing him, and his daddy said that it shouldn't, so he was going to fix it. As Masaki came storming in, she glanced at the orange haired toddler and grumbled

"Don't you touch that pan," before buttering a slice of bread. Ichigo didn't hear what she said, and he didn't want to make her angry for asking her to repeat herself, so he went to fix it anyway. Ichigo grabbed he handle with his right hand as he was lifting it. While turning it, however, he felt off balance by the weight of it in his weak four year old hand. Slamming the handle on the stove, his hand fell on the burning hot appliance.

Masaki jumped at the loud noise followed by the even louder screaming of her kid. She watched in shock as tears of pain streamed down his face as he fell off the chair and onto the hardwood floor, crying even harder and even louder at the added pain of the impact on hardwood floor. Her heart raced and, unable to take any more of this anymore, she sidestepped her son, shoved the chair out of the way as well as the pan, and opened a what looked to be an unused drawer. She took the false-bottom out and hurriedly took the large spoon and crystal substance in a small plastic baggie. She took it out, completely ignoring her son, and placed the substance on the spoon and proceeded to place it over the open flame of the gas stove. Ichigo still hadn't stopped screaming and Masaki began to scream back,

"Shut up! Shut up you little shit!"

His screams lowered in volume vaguely but didn't stop completely. It wasn't good enough for her. Her head swung around, eyes glaring daggers into him and her hair flew wildly over her shoulders as she turned,

"Can't you ever listen to your momma for once? Shut the fuck up you piece of shit!"

Ichigo clenched his teeth tightly and his whole body tensed in fear of the woman in front of him. He didn't realize that he lost control of his bladder until his pants felt warm and wet, his hand still burning, and his eyes leaking madly. He watched in fear as his mother put the now melted substance into the syringe and placed it on the counter. Taking a tourniquet out of the now broken looking drawer, Masaki wrapped it around her arm tightly before quickly tying it off. Turning back around picking up the syringe, she pointed it at the terrified boy on the floor and snarled at him,

"This. Is. All. Your. Fault."

With venom spewing with each and every single one of those five words, Ichigo's heart broke even though he didn't understand what he was being blamed for. His horror grew harshly as the woman he loved dearly shoved he needle into her own arm, right under the red rubbery object where the inside of her elbow was located, and pushed the other end of the plastic part into the rest of the plastic. In less then five seconds she had the needle out and on the floor along with the tourniquet. Her eyes glazed over and, in his fear, Ichigo passed out just as his mothers eyes rolled back just before her body fell back as well.


	6. Hero Red Pill Mix

CHAPTER 6IX: HERO (RED PILL MIX)

**Disclaimer in first chapter. Hero (Red Pill Mix) belongs to Superchick. Not me.**

**(:: .Short and simple chapter revolving around Ichigo in the events directly after waking up from both him and his mother passing out on the kitchen floor. Remember that he is a _small child_ and doesn't understand what happened or what's going on!.::)**

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No one talks to him about how he lives  
>He thinks that the choices he makes are just his.<br>Doesn't know he's a leader with the way he behaves  
>And others will follow the choices he's made.<p>

He lives on the edge, he's old enough to decide  
>His brother who wants to be him is just nine.<br>He can do what he wants because it's his right  
>The choices he makes change a nine year old's life.<p>

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When Ichigo woke up he was on the kitchen floor. His hand and tummy hurt. Not knowing what to do about his hunger he sat up, smartly not using his right hand to assist him in sitting up. His mommy was sleeping on the floor. He slowly made his way to his feet and walked to her slowly.

"Mommy…" he whispered.

"Mommy wake up…" he tried shaking her a bit with his non-booboo hand.

"Momma you gotta wake up..!"

Ichigo suddenly felt how cold she was and ran to the living room, grabbing both his blankie and the blanket from the couch when they read together. He put them both on her. Looking around the room he was in, he realized he was afraid to be in the kitchen. He looked up and grabbed the edge of the bag of bread that had been left on the counter and pulled it off. He pulled out three pieces and pulled the crusts off, he could barely swallow them down they were so dry. He eventually figured out that he could eat his bread in the bathroom and then stand on the toilet and turn the sink on to drink the water. It wasn't very filling and by the time lunch came around, he was starving again, and he had run out of bread. He started crying again and kept at it until his hand hurt again. He looked at it and walked to the closet in the bathroom and looked for the white booboo box. Once he found it he looked for the brown bottle that was always near it incase he scraped a knee or something. He found it and, after difficulty opening it with one hand and poured the foul smelling fluid all over his hand. He let out a cry as it stung and a tear left his eye. He made his way to rinse the evil liquid off in the sink and cried as it hurt more. He patted it dry with a towel as gently as he could before going back to the box. After about ten minutes his hand was completely covered in little band aids. The phone rang. Ichigo rushed to it and yanked on the cord and brought it to his ear after picking it up off the ground.

"Hello!" A voice chuckled,

"Hello Ichigo. It's Byakuya's grandfather. May I speak to your mother?" Ichigo frowned,

"Mommy's not awake yet I think…" The old man sounded confused,

"Really now? At this hour?"

"Mhmm! I think something's wrong Mr. Kuchiki.. And I'm hungry!"

"Hungry? What's wrong Ichigo, when did you last eat?"

"A while ago but all I could reach was the bread and it barely filled me..."

"When was your mother last awake Ichigo?" The man's voice sounded hurried.

"Lunch time—"

"She just went to sleep? Where is she?"

"On the floor. Yesterday not today!"

"Oh no. Wait on the couch for me, do not touch her. We'll be there shortly. Byakuya call Kis-"

He hung up. Ichigo frowned. Why couldn't he touch his mommy? Was she sick? Was that why she was so cold? He let he phone dangle on the corn since he couldn't hang up and sat on the couch like Mr. Kuchiki said. Was he gonna say to call Kisuke? He smiled, maybe they were all gonna have a play date! They hadn't had one of those in a while. He just hoped his momma was gonna be alright...


	7. The Ghost Of You

CHAPTER 7EVEN: THE GHOST OF YOU

**Disclaimer in first chapter. The Ghost of You belongs to My Chemical Romance. Not Me.**

**(::. Poor Ichigo! D: I felt so bad when writing this. I kinda felt like Chuck, the prophet from Supernatural when he had his whole "I am so sorry you guys! Oh my god, THE THINGS I MADE YOU GO THROUGH!" moment.::)**

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Ever get the feeling that you're never  
>All alone and I remember now<br>At the top of my lungs in my arms she dies  
>She dies<p>

At the end of the world  
>Or the last thing I see<br>You are  
>Never coming home<br>Never coming home  
>Could I? Should I?<br>And all the things that you never ever told me  
>And all the smiles that are ever gonna haunt me<br>Never coming home  
>Never coming home<br>Could I? Should I?  
>And all the wounds that are ever gonna scar me<br>For all the ghosts that are never gonna catch me

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Ichigo sat on the couch and rubbed his aching belly with his good hand. Mr. Kuchiki and Bya-ya-chan, maybe Uncle Kisuke and Renji, were on their way over. Hopefully his uncle brought candies again; he was really hungry! He wanted to go and try to wake him momma up again, but he didn't for two reasons. He was told not to get off the couch until they got there, and he didn't want to wake her up and have her be mad at her again…

The orange haired child coughed and shivered for a few seconds. His shoulder started twitching and his breathing increased heavily. Was he having another daymare? His parents, Bya-ya-chan, or Mr. Kuchiki were always with him when he ha one, but the Kuchiki's were what seemed to Ichigo as an hour away, daddy was at Gamma and Gampa's, and momma was asleep and angry at him. He felt his muscles tense up, the beginning stages of his daymares, and he let out a cry of fear.

The daymares that Ichigo suffered from were apparently forms of withdrawal. At first the doctors believed that he had epilepsy, but the medication for it was ineffective. The seizures were harmless to an extent; all he had to worry about was getting bruised up or concussed as he fell down. If anything they were more like involuntary muscle-memory that could kill someone for being on a flight of stairs or alone in a pool. No one knew if it would ever go away or if there was a cure for it or not.

As he fell on his side, body convulsing with tears in his eyes, the front door slammed open and his uncle ran to him. The last thing that the orange haired boy saw and felt was the warmth of hands on his shoulders and the sight of his uncle's terrified eyes.

Urahara Kisuke was generally a calm man. One had to be for teaching high school students. His fiancé and adoptive children kept him on his toes. His brother, who kept their mother's maiden name Kurosaki, helped keep him sane. That worked the same way around when Isshin's wife OD'ed nearly four years ago after birthing their first child. His brother had broken down and couldn't bear to take care of his own child, let alone himself. So while Ginrei took care of the baby, Kisuke took care of Isshin.

Kisuke was praying that history didn't repeat itself on his over-the-speed-limit drive to his brothers' house. Masaki had just given birth, granted a week had passed, she was alone with her son, her husband was on his way home, and she undoubtedly didn't know what to do with her son to keep him occupied. He prayed it was just his overactive imagination acting up again, but when he reached the house, flung open the door, and found his nephew convulsing on the floor with his mother no where in sight he knew it wasn't just in his head. Her son was in the midst of a seizure, and Masaki wasn't even in the room trying to help. Kisuke picked up the unconscious convulsing boy and held him tightly to his chest. Several minutes passed and the already jarred door slammed against the wall as Ginrei shoved passed it to get inside/ Faltering as he saw Kisuke, he headed upstairs to the master bedroom as Kisuke waved him on and muttered out,

"Find her!"

Loud bangs, clanks, and crashes were heard as the old man began his search through every room upstairs. Ichigo had finally stopped shaking and, other then the sounds that the almost 50 year old man was making; the sound of a dial tone was filling the room. Kisuke gently placed the sleeping child on the couch and stood to hang up the phone after taking note of the sloppily bandaged hand.

He stared at the now silent and hung up phone blankly. Surely Ginrei would have called for him once he'd found her, right? Sighing and closing his eyes, Kisuke turned around to tend to his nephew. Instead, he froze when he reopened his eyes and proceeded to become as wide as his mouth as it fell open. Under a pile of blankets in front of the turned on electric stove lay a silhouette of strawberry blonde hair.

He cried out his late best friend's father's name as he sprinted to the prone body. As his arms and legs gave out underneath him, he pulled the blankets back. Putting his two shaking fingers to his sister in law's neck, his mind went numb and Ginrei's words were lost on deaf ears. His eyes glazed over, staring blankly at the cold body, trying to piece together any other reason as to why it would be as cold as it was. Anything but the alternative… the cold floor was causing it. She had a cold herself. The removal of the blankets took her warmth away. It was his own cold hands he was feeling. The cool touch caused her skin to become cool as well.

She was alive. She had to be. For Ichigo's sake, for her twin daughters' sake! She was alive! He knew she was, and his shocked mind was coming to think it was right.

But it wasn't.

And as Kisuke came back to his right state of mind, two lukewarm lines of salt water leaked from his eyes. Standing up and shouldering passed his also shocked and teary eyed fatherly figure, Kisuke reached the phone. Pushing the big blue **P** button and waited patiently for the dispatcher to ask his what his emergency was,

"I'd like to report a dead body," his voice had no emotion to it. It wasn't sad, not was it cold, it just… was. Stumbling over her words at his tone and words, the woman asked for his name and location. There was a pause as he listed them off before the woman timidly spoke up once more,

"The police and an ambulance are on their way. Uhm… sir?"

"Yes?" Kisuke's voice cracked as he took in the sight of the kitchen for the first time since he arrived at the house. A drawer that looked broken, a filthy looking spoon, an empty needle, and a bright red tourniquet lay scattered across the counter and the floor. He turned away from the sight of the kitchen and stared at the machine on the wall in front of him.

"Do you know the cause of death..?" It killed him to whisper it, and it killed him in a much more harsh and brutal way to say what he knew he had to add on afterwards,

"Overdose; I think she did it in front of her four year old." He hung up on the woman and tightly sealed his eyes shut. Arms wrapped around him and turned him around. As a hand pushed his head down he completely let himself go and sobbed openly and loudly into the other crying man's chest. This wasn't fair. It wasn't fair to Isshin, or Yuzu, or Karin, or him, or the Kuchikis, and most of all it wasn't fair to the son she caused to be born the way he was and will most likely blame himself for what she did an what he saw. It wasn't fair to anyone, not even Masaki.


	8. Like Suicide

CHAPTER 8IGHT: LIKE SUICIDE

**Disclaimer in first chapter. Like Suicide belongs to Seether. Not Me.**

**(::. .I'm not going to lie, I was imagining being on an acid trip when I did Isshin's awkward little fantasy there. Some of my more favorite ideas always come out when I'm writing in Math for whatever reason. -.- Please **REVIEW**! Your opinions honestly make my day even if its just one word, they also make me write faster. .::)**

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Premeditation will kill the trust  
>They'll never know if you fear me<br>With every second collecting dust  
>I feel so bloated and weary<br>'cause she belongs to heaven

She's comin' over like a suicide  
>And it's the same old trip<br>The same old trip as before  
>Another complicating suicide<br>And it's the same old trip  
>The same old trip as before<p>

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Isshin pulled up to the house as chaos ensued. He got out of his still running car in shock; there was a gurney rushing through the broken in front door, a second one following closely after. Oh god, no! In his head he was picturing a horrific scene of a breaking and entry while Masaki and Ichigo were sitting on the floor, happily playing patty-cake.

They were laughing and having the time of their lives in the bright room when the front door was forced open. A man with an M16 assault rifle entered the living room and began shouting profanities with a German accent as a dark cloud followed him into the room. The cloud stole all the cheer and laughter from the house before it flew into the man. Masaki, his fearless wife, was holding their crying son away from the barbarian that was holding them at gunpoint. He was shouting for her to give him something that she didn't have. Sick of trying to shout over the wailing Ichigo, the Nazi began telling her to shut his up, Masaki tried to comply by cooing reassurances that everything was okay to him. Ichigo didn't stop his loud sobbing in the slightest.

"Look lady, either you shut the kid up or I will! This is a stick-up; don't make it a murder!" he threatened. That fiend! Masaki stood up and pulled out a sawed off shot gun, nobody threatened a Kurosaki!

"I'll show you a murder, _no one threatens my baby!_" Both guns went off. The man fell to the floor, dead. Masaki dropped to the floor in rather sexy, Isshin thought, knight armor. Her shoulder had been clipped by the stray bit of ammo, but her love for her son protected her from all! The ambulance arrived to retrieve the body of the would-be assassin and insisted on nurturing to the brave strawberry blonde.

Unfortunately none of that happened. There was no monument being prepared to be built in the center of the city for his heroic wife and giant posters of her wouldn't be made. Isshin was at a loss for what to do, he needed to figure out what was going on but he couldn't just leave Karin and Yuzu unattended in the car. His pant leg was tugged on,

"You okay, sir?" it was a small boy; he looked to be around Ichigo's age. He had neat black hair, large eyes, and white clothes. Isshin looked up at the man standing behind the child,

"Isshin," the white haired, four-eyed man greeted.

"Ryuuken…" Ryuuken put his hand on his son's shoulder and pulled him back from Isshin.

"Go. I'll watch the girls; your wife and son need you right now." Isshin nodded in thanks and rant to the house, ducking under the police lines before be was stopped,

"Sir! You can't—oh, Isshin…" The tall police man was Tessai, he and Kisuke were close to each other when they were growing up.

"What happened?" Tessai hesitated, he wasn't sure of how his childhood friend would handle it,

"I'm not permitted to—"

"Bullshit Tessai! What happened to my family?" The tall man sighed; he really didn't want to be the bearer of bad news. But luck wasn't on his side and he was the one who had to, apparently.

"There was an… accident… of sorts. Masaki and Ichigo…"

"Stop pussy-footing around, Tessai. Either you tell him or I will."

"Kisuke, sir. What are you doing here?" Kisuke rubbed the back of his neck at his friend's question.

"Getting questioned mostly. Look, why don't you go do cop things, I'll talk to my brother." As Tessai nodded and walked away Kisuke sniffled, tears welling up in his eyes for the millionth time that day. His eyes were puffy and vacant-looking. He looked wiped out. Isshin took in his brother's appearance with concern and suddenly wasn't even sure if he wanted to know what happened anymore. Kisuke's voice cracked,

"Masaki relapsed. She didn't make it." There was no use in trying to sugar-coat it, it would only hurt the brunette more in the end, and hurting him was the last thing that Kisuke wanted to do.

"What? Isshin was in a state of shock. As soon as she went off to rehab four years ago he searched the house and cleaned out any possible stashed she had. He'd bought new furniture, resealed holes in the walls, broke open and bought new safes, replaced electric appliances, did everything he could think of. It was the second time she'd done this to him, the second time she made him think she was clean, the second time she damaged their relationship—damaged their _family._

"There was a fake bottom to one of the kitchen drawers. Everything was there Isshin, everything. Needles, spoons, a tourniquet. And Ichigo—"

"What happened to Ichigo?" He tried to shove past the blonde, but his arms were grabbed and he was spun around,

"Ichigo is fine, for the most part. He had an attack but he's fine, I think…"

"You _think?_" Isshin yelled, gathering the attention of a few policemen and bystanders. "Think _what, _Kisuke?" The teacher sighed, damn Masaki for throwing them all into this mess!

"He saw her doing it." Isshin felt his heart stop; the world around him was going in slow motion as his heart beat echoed in his ear drums. No, how could Masaki do that to their first child, their baby boy. He hadn't done anything to deserve seeing his mother do that. Isshin didn't even realize that the ground was getting closer until his face landed in his brother's chest. The light from the street lamps, ambulances and police cars seeped out of his line of vision. The sounds around him became increasingly fuzzy, as if someone were shoving cotton into his ears. He vaguely thought he heard someone calling his name, it might have been Kisuke, it probably _was_, but he wasn't sure of anything in that moment of time. The lights around him made their way farther away from him until everything faded to black in complete silence.

That was the last thing he remembered.


	9. Grand Theft Autumn

CHAPTER 9INE: GRAND THEFT AUTUMN

**Disclaimer in first chapter. Grand Theft Autumn belongs to Fallout Boy. Not me.**

**(::.. As an apology for not updating any sooner, you get a long chapter. There's more on Ichigo's disabilities from being born with heroin in his system. That part in this story is not fictional—my cousin was born a heroin baby and supports my writing (She even reads it sometimes!) So with her permission, I'm putting in what she can't do as what Ichigo can't do. The paragraph will be marked with an asterisk. Second_** time skip**_—this one's more major, several years actually. And by "several years" I mean that this is skipping from Ichigo being a poor wittle 4 year old, to being a 15 year old in the 10th grade. Slight Stark/Ichi with a sprinkle of jealous!Byakuya. ..::)**

**(::. ._**REVIEWS**__** MAKE ME UPDATE FASTER**_. .::)**

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When I wake up,

I'm willing to take my chances on the hope

I forget that you hate him more than you notice

I wrote this for you.

You need him.

I could be him...  
>I could be an accident but I'm still trying.<br>That's more than I can say for him.

Where is your boy tonight?

I hope he is a gentleman.  
>Maybe he won't find out what I know:<p>

You were the last good thing about this part of town.

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Ichigo's hand hurt as much as his head, or rather his brain, did. He was half way through his tenth grade mid-terms, bore the biggest headache that he did not deserve, and had his nose to his exam in an attempt to read it. After first receiving the test and looking at the first line he had embarrassingly cried out, "Oh shit! I'm blind!" causing his oh so lovely proctor to negate ten points off for speaking and his profanity. He wasn't really blind though, the lettering was just several font sizes too small for lord knows what reason. At the moment, Ichigo was the only one still working on finishing his test. Everyone else was either rechecking their work, staring blankly into space, or, like the guy who was sitting next to him, sleeping.

*Due to the life long after effects of being a heroin baby, numbers made just about absolutely no sense to him. At all, whatsoever. He couldn't count to 100, he couldn't tell time via non-digital clock or dial/memorize phone numbers, he could just barely so simple math (addition, subtraction, multiplication and division), and although he _could_ drive, he couldn't read or make sense out of a speedometer to save his life.

And at the moment, he couldn't do geometry. He would look at the time to see how much longer he had until he had to start pulling answers out of his ass, but of course his watch was at home when it should've been on his wrist.

"How much time do we have left, I wanna go home~!" Oh, thank god! Ichigo recognized the green-haired female from somewhere, but he couldn't remember. He didn't think it was necessary to wear a spandex jump-suit to school though… As the proctor called out, "five minutes, shut up!" Ichigo cursed Byakuya's existence. If he hadn't gotten Old Man Kuchiki to pay the school so Ichigo got Uncle Kisuke for a math teacher, then he wouldn't be in this troublesome situation! In another way it was his own fault as well. In his rush to make it to school on time he'd left his now much needed calculator on his and Byakuya's bed. He knew all the formulas, but he needed multiplication and division to do the final steps of the problems and get his answers. Why did his mom have to hate him?

A clatter on the floor to his left gained his attention. The sleeping brunette had been momentarily woken up by his calculator falling to the floor. In his sleepy daze, he picked it up and placed it on Ichigo's desk before seemingly nodding off again. Ichigo was going to kiss that man. Rushing through the several unanswered questions on his test and bubbling in the answers on his scantron, he barely finished in time. He had filled in the final bubble just as the proctor reached his desk. Ichigo nearly sobbed in relief.

As they were dismissed, Ichigo glanced at the boy next to him. He was still asleep to Ichigo's astonishment. Standing up and hesitantly shaking his shoulder, the boy woke up and stood himself. Ichigo held out the blue calculator,

"You uhh… dropped this." He cursed at his crappy social skills, blaming Byakuya for that too.

"You looked like you needed it. Finish on time?" The brunette yawned. Too surprised to do anything else, Ichigo settled for nodding. The boy nodded in response and as he took the calculator back he slipped Ichigo a piece of paper with "Stark" and a sequence of numbers on it to him. He had no idea what they meant but he didn't necessarily feel like making a fool out of himself by asking the now retreating boy. Maybe Byakuya would know…

Byakuya was shaking his head. More specifically, Byakuya was shaking his head at Ichigo. When he finally looked away and went back to his typing, the annoyance on his face made it clear that he wasn't going to give his friend an answer as to what it was. Irritated, Ichigo left the office-like room and went out in search of Old Man Kuchiki.

When he did manage to track him down, he was in the garden drinking tea. Before he'd even finished his explanation, the old man was waving him off to get the paper from Ichigo. Several minutes of silence passed before he let out a noise of affirmation. Ichigo perked up before deflating as Ginrei announced in what sounded like surprise,

"It appears to be a name..!" Ichigo had forgotten how useless he was without his glasses.

Asking Rukia was his next stop. Rukia was Byakuya's younger sister. She was supposed to be a twin, but the elder one had gotten ill shortly after their birth. Their mother had died during child birth of a rare disease, and Hisana, Rukia's would-be twin, had contracted it as well. Even though she had been hospitalized immediately, she never got any better and had died the next day.

Rukia was eleven and having a tea-party with her stuffed bunny, Chappi. Ichigo found it strange for her to be doing so at her age, but he never really cared to question it. In the end she ended up refusing to help him unless he joined her tea party, which he flat-out refused to do, so he went back to his and Byakuya's room.

After Ichigo's mother's overdose eleven years ago, Ichigo couldn't bear to be alone for several hours at a time. When he woke up in the hospital and explained everything, he'd been so confused. The doctors, as gentle as they tried to break it to him, did just that; _break it _to him. She wasn't going to come back; she was _never_ going to come back. She wasn't going to say she was sorry; she wasn't going to tell him she loved him. And before he knew it, his innocence had been snatched out from under his feet with the sudden slap in the face of the memory of his mother, the center of his whole word, yelling at him, blaming him, telling him how it was his fault. And his four year old self believed her wholly. He believed that it was his actions of being a bad son, of being a bad person in general, which caused his hero to make the choice to never come back to the world. Since that realization came to him, nightmares plagued his sleep every night that followed. And from that night on, the plagues would vanish the minute someone crawled into bed with Ichigo. So when Ichigo went home with the Kuchikis, he would scream and cry until Byakuya quickly crawled into bed with him. Sometimes though, Ginrei got there before the six year old and lay down with the four year old all night, reading and occasionally glancing at him as he made sure he was okay throughout the night. From time to time Ichigo would just lay awake every night and simply want to be held by whoever he was with. Eventually, Ginrei was sent away for a business trip for a few months. Left in the care of numberless nannies to raise him, Byakuya he never really connected personally with anyone but Ichigo. As time went on it pretty much just became an "Oh hi, Nice to meet you even though I'll never see you again after a week or so from now," routine. Ichigo, to the nannies and maids, seemed meek, quiet, and if nothing else deathly shy. Eventually Byakuya grew colder to the maids and nannies. And, as time went on, he grew colder to everybody. Ichigo and Ginrei seemed to be the only ones who treated him the same, but insecurities still lurked within him due to the never-present motherly figure in his life.

Ichigo flopped onto his stomach, face buried in his best friend's pillow. For some reason he always smelled of flowers. Not that he was complaining though, he loved flowers and he loved that Byakuya smelled like them! Blushing slightly at that last thought, Ichigo blindly reached to his left and felt around Byakuya's side-table for his cell phone. Once Ichigo had a hold of it, he pushed the center "**OKAY**" button and scrolled through all of his contacts in search of his cousin's name. When he reached it he pressed "**SEND**" and waited.

"Wha' Ichi?"

"_Ichigo_," he corrected. "I need you to come over for something."

"Ask your boyfriend, I got shit ta do."

"He won't hel—tell me. And he's not my boyfriend!"

"Uh huh. Sure he ain't, lover boy. What ya need help with?"

"I don't need any _help_! Just get over here you giant baboon!"

"The only thing giant on me—"

"Other than your hair?"

"Yeh," he chuckled, "_Other than my hair_, is my coc—" Ichigo hung up and reburied his face in the fruity scented pillow, groaning at how disgusting his cousin was. Just because his mother looked and acted like porn stars probably looked and acted, didn't make it okay for him to at like he was some Adonis. Ichigo doubted that talking to your cousin like that was appropriate anyway…

Granted, Aunt Yoruichi had ovary problems and Uncle Kisuke was sterile so having kids was virtually impossible for them, all four of their kids were adopted. Renji and his punk thirteen year old brother Jinta, and Tatsuki and her quiet eleven year old sister Ururu. Both of their birth parents were either dirt poor or lived in unsuitable conditions to have children in. So at first Aunt Yoruichi and Uncle Kisuke adopted Tatsuki before Ururu was born, and fell in love with having children in their house. When they found out a toddler and a new born were going into an orphanage a few miles away, the approached the parents and adopted Renji and Jinta. Tatsuki's mother called the couple up when she was pregnant with Ururu and explained that she couldn't afford her. They gladly took her in once she was born.

Lost in his thought and Byakuya's scent, Ichigo didn't notice the door opening or the red head creeping into the room until his body fell on top of Ichigo's.

"Oof!"

"Ooh, ooh ah, ah!"

"Fricken monkey!" Ichigo shoved the red head off of his back and rolled over.

Renji snorted and rolled onto his back with his arms behind his head,

"Whatcha need help with?" Ichigo leaved across him and went to grab the little slip of paper on his side table. Renji chuckled and grabbed Ichigo's hips,

"Oh baby."

"Shut up." When he grabbed the paper, he shoved it at his cousin and crossed his arms. Ichigo removed one hand in place of grasping the paper and getting a good look at it. He looked back up at Ichigo with a blank stare,

"Really?"

Ichigo was confused,

"Really what?"

"Ya _are_ retarded," Ichigo glared at him. "It's a number dumbass."

"No shit? I hadn't realized, thanks!"

Renji scowled, "Fuck you, it's his _phone number_ smart ass!" He continued at Ichigo's silence. "If it's Stark that gave it to ya then he obviously's makin' an effort with ya."

"An effort with what?"

"Ta _dip_ his _dick_ in yer _asshole_." Renji spoke slowly with a roll of his eyes as if he were explaining it for the fifteenth time in a row. Ichigo glared and slapped Renji's chest with the back of his hand,

"Shove off, he does not!"

Renji raised an eyebrow, remembering how naïve his adoptive cousin really was. "Call him an' find out then Mr. Know-it-all. If I'm right ya gotta tell pretty boy ya want his dick. If you win, I'll stop actin' like I'm hittin' on ya." Immediately agreeing to the bet, if only for the sake of what he got for winning, Ichigo gave Renji his cell phone. After adding Stark to Ichigo's contacts, Renji pressed "**SEND**" and gave the orange haired boy his phone back, his hand returning behind his head to join the other. As the phone rang, Ichigo glared at his cousin. When he heard a muffled "H'lo?" his face dropped slightly.

"Uhh… hi." Renji rolled his eyes. Ichigo really needed to get something done about his poor-ass social skills.

"Who's this?" A bored voice answered like it had something better to do.

"Oh! It's uh, it's Ichigo. Sorry…"

"Hey."

"..." Ichigo felt so awkwardly uncomfortable talking to the guy he had only spoken to once before.

"You busy?" Both shocked and angry that Renji won the bet, Ichigo scowled.

"Now?" The man yawned and let out a sound of confirmation.

"Uhm.. no..?"

"Wanna come over? I'll give you the address." Ichigo blushed, but not for the invitation. He turned away from Renji to hide his pink tinted pace from his snickering cousin,

"I can't drive…"

"Hmm. I'll go to you place then. You live with the Kuchikis right?"

"Uh yeah, but—" Stark sighed,

"I'll be there shortly." As the busy tone screeched at Ichigo to shut his phone (and his mouth), Renji smirked and left the room.

Byakuya was just going to _love_ that!


End file.
